Never Forget...

I can't believe it's been 5 years. I vividly remember where I was and what I was doing. I remember Lee waking me up telling me that a plane hit the WTC...then we watched as another one hit. Then I think we didn't leave the TV for days. Just thinking of it now I get those butterflies in my stomach that I had that day.

I think every American should watch the USA movie FLIGHT 93.....I have not seen the motion picture but this USA movie is very moving and I have to tell you, I was unable to verbalize my feelings after watching that movie. All I could do was sob. I mean truly sob, head in hands. Lee brought me a dishtowel to wipe my face and then sat down with me and held me. It's all he could do. It is really a well made movie and I think we should all watch and remember how we felt those days right after 9/11/01. We are still as much under attack as ever...nothing has gone away except for the fact that our fine military is taking the brunt for us....because the terrorists know that instead of travelling thousands of miles and spending alot of money to kill Americans, they can spend their lunch money on a bus ticket to go to Iraq to try to kill some.

2 weeks ago, Katie had to write an essay on what she wanted to do with her life and how it would make a difference to the world. She wrote it on being a photographer. Days like today really bring home how important photos are. They help us to remember. I never think of photographer as a noble profession but it can be.

We need pictures so that we can have our own real memories, not distorted truth fed to us. Our grandchildren will be able to see with their own eyes our history and not be fed a kinder gentler version.


I can't express the grief that I am feeling today. I have a lump in my throat that just won't go away.

Welcome Chico!

I have a new baby!! His name is CHICO. He is a one year old chihuahua mix. I rescued him from the vet. He was an abandoned pet. He is a very sweet little dog, weighs about 10 lbs and is very good with the kids. Sometimes I know small dogs are nervous or jumpy around kids but not CHICO! He loves the kids, even goes to bed with them at night! I wish I could put a picture of him here!

Back to School!

Well, alot has happened in the month I haven't posted. Shortly after my last post, I went on a week-end trip with my good friend from Germany.....had a BLAST! It was like I was in high school again, I haven't laughed so much in ages. My friend was great and her son and Katie really had a great time riding roller coasters and crazy rides at Silver Dollar City in Branson.

The girls went back to school on Aug 16. Katie is having a difficult time adjusting to jr high school but she will be fine. She is running for Jr Queen of Crocker Railroad Days and is excited. They had to write an essay and do 6 hours of community service. She picked up trash along the side of the road for 3 hours (all of the girls did that activity) and then volunteered at our local thrift shop that benefits the local battered woman shelter. They also had pictures taken and will have an interview.

Hannah is loving 1st grade! SHe has an awesome teacher and made 100% on her 1st test ever!

I have started back to school as well. I am only taking one class because Lee will take 4 classes this term. But by next year when Drew starts kindergarten, I should be ready to start nursing school. Woohoo!

My mother-in-law and her husband came for another visit. They stayed the week-end and left their dog with us while they go to Europe for a month. We played BOGGLE until the wee hours every night!! FUN! Of course Lee slaughtered us every time but at least I beat my MIL every time. I think she was getting irritated by that but that is just a feeling I got (but Lee got the feeling too--Hahaha)....Julie if you read this you will probably laugh at that!!!

I am going to start weight watchers....I had already made the decision but yesterday I got a points calculator at the thrift shop for $2 (they cost about $30 I think). It was a GOD thing! Thanks for the points calculator GOD--I hear ya talkin to me!!! So say a little prayer for me.

More to follow on weight watchers and how I feel women should be attractive for their men....first I need to pray about it.

Grandparents

There's nobody like grandparents to love on your kids. Lee's mom just left after an 8 day visit. Before that we haven't seen her in 4 years. Drew was I think 9 months old when he last saw her. The children couldn't have been happier to see her or more loving towards her. It was so so sad to see how they craved that attention from a grandparent, but great to see them getting it. Hannah and Drew loved just talking to her, she curled Hannah's hair, she chased Drew around and tickled him, she watched movies with them, bought them a SORRY game and played it with them, and once even played "Rachael Ray" with Hannah (she loves Rachael Ray and apparently so does Grandma). I do have lots of regrets about the last years of my life, but don't get me wrong, there are lots of reasons why my children haven't really had grandparents. Some things you can't get over, some you can. Nothing happened with Grandma that can't be gotten over. It was mainly hurt feelings and misunderstandings during a VERY stressful time in both of our lives. Hopefully this is a new beginning with this grandparent anyway because we need her and want her to be part of our life. Hannah Grace cried her eyes out all night long when Grandma left, she had us all in tears.

I am starting back to school! I have to do it. I took a class last year but only one because then we were house hunting and moving, and things just got in the way. Things will always get in the way though, if I let them. So Lee will be taking 4 , yes, 4 classes and I will take probably just 1. Money will be tight but now is the time. I will get a pell grant but not enough to cover the entire cost. I will go one night a week and with Drew in preschool I will have everyday from 12-3 to study if I want. I am praying about it and I feel led to do it. I have always wanted to be a nurse and I am going for it! I can't wait. I am going to buy myself a new notebook and pen!!! hahaha.....I remember as a child being so excited over new school supplies.

I am going in 2 weeks to see my friend Kimberly who lost her husband in Iraq. I am so anxious! We are going to have fun. We are meeting halfway between our homes, in Branson MO. Should be great fun and I can't wait to give her a big hug. I haven't seen her in 2 years now. I miss all of my friends from Germany so badly. Hopefully we can have some kind of reunion one day. That year of our lives was intense and we grew to love each other and depend on each other so deeply. I wish I could do something for the ones who are living thru deployments again....but I will pray for them and I know that prayer is what they need most. I know how it feels but I don't know how it feels to go thru it again so soon.

Thank you to all of my friends who are loving and supporting their husbands as they do their part to defend us and keep us safe. I know that I for one sleep well at night because of your husbands and mine, and also because of you wives......if not for you, he could not do his job the way he should. Thank you and I love you all.

Happy Independence Day!!

Well.....can't post a picture again...oh well.

Lee's mom came on Friday and left on Saturday.....she looked so good and it was so good to see her. Of course things were a little wierd but the kids were so excited to see her, they stood on the side of the road jumping up and down and waving the whole time she was driving down the street. So Friday we visited and she of course gave everyone goodies....she is so good about that....and Lee and Eric put on a fireworks show. Saturday morning she gave us a piano and a sewing machine and some other items and then took us to lunch. When we were eating lunch someone mentioned something about them leaving and Hannah caught it and just started crying....it was really sad. She cried for hours. She is excited though because Grandma says she is coming back in 2 weeks.

I can't wait to get some music for the piano that Lee will try to play. I love to hear him play. LOVE it!!!

Anyway, have a happy 4th and be safe!!

Summer Fun!

Well....the kids are having a great time together. Katie and Eric are making movies with the camcorder and entertaining us. It's funny, they are 14 and 12, but when they are together they act like they are still little, like 7 & 9. It's sweet. There are issues of course, but they work it out. Katie is more ignorant in the fields of trendy clothing and electronics because we just can't afford all of the things that Eric gets. She doesn't really care I guess, or she doesn't say anything if she does. I try to get her a few of the popular namebrands and mix and match the rest. It's hard when we struggle so hard to get them the stuff they do have. But, this is life. I know he's just proud of what people give him and doesn't mean to hurt them, but it does. They're all just kids and all innocent.

Lee's mom will be coming thru on Friday, the kids are so excited to see Grandma. It has been 4 years. They don't remember spending time with her, but they definitely know her because of all the photos I keep out and stories we tell. I am happy the kids get to see her. I wish we had normal familial relationships, the children need that. I barely speak to my mom, I recently spent 6 months without talking to my sister and I feel no huge loss. It's sad, but it is what it is. Sometimes you have to cut dangerous (emotionally or physically) people out of your life, at least for a while until either they change or you learn how to handle things. I think I have finally learned , with God's help, how to deal with my family and not be too close but not be too distant. Hopefully we can slowly form a new relationship with Lee's mom, I need her in my life too and I hope she's open to it.

"Please Lord let us have a good visit with Johanna and her husband. I pray the children will love on her and she on them and that we will all be comfortable. I pray for their safety as they travel. I pray that our hearts & minds will be right."

Woohoo!!

This is a picture of Drew at the river back behind our house. He was trying to skip rocks like his daddy taught him. Maybe the trouble with pictures had to do with the template I had been using.....I changed and now I added a picture!!! Thus the title! Woohoo!!! Drew hit a double last night in baseball....that boy is something....he hit it into the outfield! He's only 4!!!! I love to see him being such a guy, it makes me want to cry. Hannah got sick at the game, I think she was becoming dehydrated so she had to sit out the last half of the last inning . She likes baseball but says she is ready for basketball to start up again. Katie is in Alabama, please pray for her. I want a pool, I think our kids would get enjoyment with it but Lee has worked so hard on our yard, I don't know where we would put it. I want one of those 14 x 3.6 ones at wal-mart for like $150. It's alot of money but hey, I would even get it in it, might even help me lose some of these extra pounds. .....Also, a man at Wal-mart yesterday was walking around handing out $2 bills. He didn't even say much, I have no idea why he was doing it, but I thought it was cool. We said thank you and went on our way. GOd has really been dealing with me lately, I have been too picky about churches, I have to get in a church, get involved, sing, fellowship...I have met some really nice ladies so I need to get out there and not be so scared. I love small Bible studies so I need to get back to going when it starts back after summer. I have been trying to work through some issues with rejection....I always reject perfectly nice people because I think they will eventually reject me. Gotta stop it. I need a friend and I will never get one with that attitude. I am praying that God change me so I can be more open and friend worthy. I have no family really so I need to make more friends and surround myself with positive, nurturing people. Love to all of my friends that I can't be with right now! I miss you!!!!

Hey you guys!!!

Hey You Guuuuyyyyysssss!!!!!

Now say it slow and loud.....like on Electric Company. Is there anyone else in the world who remembers watching Electric Company?

The other night a show Lee watches (animated show) had a big hunk of cheese run into the room and sing while wearing a cowboy hat and boots, something like "hankering for a hunk of cheese"....I guess you had to be there but I died laughing, I hadn't thought of or seen that commercial in YEARS!!!

Well, the interview went well although I have not heard anything back yet...I will get a call either way I was told. I think it was a good interview, but then again, this is a very small town (1100 people) and I am still new here. I know that plays a role in their hiring process.

Our neighbor invited us to go down to her river front right behind our house on sunday....it was so gorgeous!! She owns like 150 acres that surrounds us and has some river front. The kids found HUGE tadpoles, crawfish, and muscles. They had such a good time. Lee and I did too, Lee was skipping rocks with Drew. It was cute. We all had such a good time, it was the first time we have been down to the river so now we know how very close we are to the river and why we get so much wildlife around here.

The Crocker Slammers are 4-0.....although they don't announce the scores since the kids are so little, but I keep up with it. Hannah and Drew both are so cute and surprisingly good at it! Drew can hit the ball when they pitch it to him and for 4 I think that is very good!!! Hannah is good at it and especially likes to play first base. Their coach is very good at letting everyone have a chance to play different positions. Drew likes to be catcher.

Katie is flying to Alabama on Friday (tomorrow) so please keep her in your prayers, she isn't really scared to fly alone, she has done it plenty of times but there is always a small amount of anxiety involved with going to Alabama. I am better at letting her go now that she is getting older, but I am still her mom and I still cry every single time she leaves. And every single time she leaves, the first thing out of Lee's mouth is "are you okay?" and then at some point that first day or two he says "missin' your baby??"....he asked it when she was 3 and leaving me for a month and he still does.

Well, that's it for now, still can't load pictures here but at least I can finally TAB and start new paragraphs!!! LOL....it's the little things in life, you know? LOL LOL

Prepare in Faith

Hi all! Thanks for posting Jen, I am glad you check my blog...I have a job interview tomorrow!! Woohoo!!...the position is secretary of the high school. It seems like a great opportunity for me, I would work in the same building as all of my kids....the high and elementary schools here are connected by a shared lunchroom.....it seems ideal. I know that God has a plan though, so if they don't pick me, then something He wants me to do will come along. Oh, I forgot to say that I dropped off my application a few weeks ago and got the call on Tuesday that they had chosen 3 applications for interviews....so I'm 1 of 3!!! I was a legal secretary for almost 3 years, and then moved to a doctor's office, I only moved because the law office I worked for had no health benefits and being a single mom, I needed insurance....and the doctor's office had great benefits!!! Plus freebies if we got sick!! hahahaha.......The kids have another game tonight....should be fun. I spoke with Lee's mom the other night after I believe more than 2 years. We have exchanged cards and pics but no real correspondence for all this time. It was good to catch up with her and I hope things one day can be the way they should. Anyway, just rambling, I will post after the job interview tomorrow to give you guys the update...but for now, I am preparing in FAITH that either way, God has His hand on my life!

GO SLAMMERS!!

GO CROCKER SLAMMERS!!! Hannah and Drew played their first baseball game last night. It was SO funny!! But their team won. Drew was of course the little comedian and Hannah was as serious as ever. I told her she ran really fast and she said "I ran like the wind!".....they had fun and that's what really matters. Of course when we got there my camcorder wouldn't work, it is 7 years old. We really want one of those new DVD recording camcorders anyway so we'll have to save up I guess. They both hit the ball well and ran fast. I still can't TAB down and start a new paragraph, very very annoying. And, I would load a picture, if I could........ugh

Well....summer vacation has begun....yesterday was the first day officially and the girls are already fighting over Barbies!!!! lol I told them it would be a long miserable summer if this is how intend to spend it. We have lots of fun things planned, Eric is coming for a visit so the kids are thrilled!! I just can't believe that Katie is going into 7th grade and Hannah into 1st. I am glad Katie is the way she is though, she is very opinionated and lets her friends know when she thinks something is wrong. She loses friends that way but she says this, "What if I am the only person that ever speaks the truth to them?" She's right. I know there are too many kids who never hear the truth, they are ignored or worse, encouraged when they do the wrong thing. This BLOG is having another off day, it won't let me TAB down to start a new paragraph, so I am going to go and surf for another site to blog on......I'll let you know if I change..... so long for now, have a great day

MIA

Hi everybody!!

Sorry I haven't been posting lately......this site has been having issues and it was a bunch of trouble just to post....hopefully it has been worked out.

Well, where to start?....Katie graduated 6th grade, won the Highest Grade in Choir and the Art Achievement Award....she had a great night and looked beautiful. She made all A's on her report card and was inducted into the Nat'l Jr Honor Society on May 1st.

Hannah graduated Kindergarten today....she had a great year and cried because she will miss her teacher. Her teacher is so sweet and special.

Drew is going to start half day preschool next year at the school and I applied for a secretarial position there. If it's God's will, I will get it, if not something else will come along.

We are all finally well and hopefully we will stay that way.

Lee will get his Associate's Degree this month so I am very proud of him.

There are some family issues that really need prayer. Please pray for me. Thanks so much for checking my BLOG and I will post more often....

R.I.P.

Rest in peace Rex the Turtle, 10/6/05-4/9/06.

Now sure what happened to little Rex, but we loved him while he was here. Drew got him on his birthday from a sweet older lady at church who found him at her home. He was newly hatched, still had some "yolk sack" on his underside.

Hannah Baby was quite upset at the sight of him, so we have decided to hold a proper burial for him this afternoon.

He was a strong little guy, he even survived being turtle-napped by our cat Patches...he was found hours later unharmed (but covered with cat hair) under a piece of furniture.

We live less than a half of a mile from the river so we find lots of turtles in our yard but Rex was special because he was so incredibly tiny....I will try to post the only picture we have of him....posing beside a quarter.

Feeling Nice

When Lee proposed marriage, he said to me "you are the nicest person I have ever known..." then of course he said other sweet things to me. But that one sentence struck me.

I think of that from time to time and think what a wonderful compliment that was and I know he really meant it. I didn't even have to fake it, I was truly nice.

Well, about a month ago we were chatting, about what I can't remember, when he made the comment to me, "you are negative about everything" He was right. We weren't even arguing which made those words even sharper to me, because he wasn't saying them in anger.

I am trying harder everyday to be that nice person Lee fell in love with. I think that sweetness was very attractive to him. I will be honest, I have to fake it sometimes, but I find that even if I fake it for a while, then it becomes easier and more natural again. I have to bite my tongue alot and even have to stop and say, "ok, is this a big deal??". If it's not, and most things aren't, I let it go and I SMILE!

I think some of my attitude came from being without Lee for more than a year, I had to be stronger, harder, more realistic......when I was so used to being the sweet and emotional one. I couldn't find a balance with all of that so I went too far to the hard unemotional side. I know I haven't lost all of that sweetness, I know it is in me. I don't want to be a doormat but I do want to be nice. It's very easy for us all to think of a woman right now who always has a bad attitude, or is always negative. Well, I don't want to be the one thought of.

I need to get back to the real me. I am sweet. I am emotional. I am nice. I am strong but also soft, I can be the strong silent type instead of the whining negative gripey type. I need to give the role of practical hardass back to Lee!!! Love you Babe, it's all yours.....

Lee's Next Story

http://www.waynesvilledailyguide.com/articles/2006/03/29/opinion/editorial01.txt

Ya gotta love MISSOURI!!!

The kids and I went on a road trip Sunday afternoon....we had a great time in Jefferson City to the capitol. Hannah enjoyed it most, she wants to live in the capitol building, she is silly. It is a beautiful site as far as capitols go , I know they all are big and pretty but this one is something special.

"Ideally situated atop a bluff overlooking the Missouri River, this eye-catching domed structure was erected in the period 1912-1917. It houses the Governor's office, General Assembly, and most of the ceremonial offices of the elected officials. Worthy of special mention are the bronze doors, reputed as the widest cast since the Roman era, and the grand stairway 30' wide, the widest in the world. "

The widest in the WORLD??? That's kind of hard for me to believe but I guess I do since it is written on the postcard Katie bought.

So the children LOVED going on our "Missouri Adventure", that's what we call it when we drive and go somewhere new, and we don't really know where we're going! I am proud of myself for setting out on my own without Lee, just me and my little map....and I actually found what I was looking for. Okay, so it is the capitol of the state and has a huge oversized dome jutting into the sky but still, I found it!!!

......I even parallel parked!!!!!

I will post some pics as soon as blogger.com gets back in working order and allows me to, they must be having issues today

Way to go Katie!!

My Katie was asked to join the National Junior Honor Society!! Woohoo!!

She is one of 7 kids chosen out of 42 sixth graders. What makes this achievement even more special is that Katie isn't a straight A student although she has done a lot better in this school than she ever has. It is a smaller school and I think a smaller environment works better for her. She has made As & Bs with 1 C. The letter sent home said that the kids chosen were picked by the faculty based on scholarship, leadership, service, character, and citizenship. So I stressed to Katie that this had more to do with who she is than what grades she made.

She is so excited. They will have a formal induction ceremony next month and then 6th grade graduation in May.

Hannah will graduate kindergarten in May as well, she has been ready for 1st grade since about week 3. She can read and write very well for kindergarten and loves to go to school, cries when she has to stay home. I hope it's always this way. She surely has her dad's analytical mind and photographic memory so she needs school.

I am so thankful to God that He picked me to be the mother of these precious children.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Easier said than done sometimes, and God really slapped me around this afternoon over just this issue.

I had a hectic morning, getting the girls ready for school and Lee was here so I was making him a bologna, egg & cheese english muffin, that man loves those things. We were already running behind schedule and then as we were leaving I realized that the dog was outside and he wasn't coming when I called. (He got shot with a BB 2 days ago so we are trying to keep him close to home, usually chained up but I thought he would come right back this morning, WRONG!)

Anyway, we get down to the main road and there he was so I threw him in the back of my Aztek and went to drop off the girls. A few hours later, I got a call reminding me about some movies I needed to return so I went out again. I returned the movies, went to the post office and then stopped at Wal-mart.

While there, Lee called. I'll just say that there wasn't exactly beautiful music playing in the background as we spoke. He thought I was being short. Maybe I was. But I was in a bad bad mood and he wasn't exactly all smiles and rainbows either.

So then Drew and I went to McDonalds....of course they got my order wrong and the burgers were not even really wrapped, they were falling apart. I was ready to cry I was so mad and disgusted.

At that moment, just as I turned my radio up the evangelist was saying this,"Would anybody look at you and say, look, there's a Christian, I want a double dose of what they have!!?"

NO.....I thought about how I must have looked at Wal-mart, pouting, talking ugly to Drew and I probably had a scowl on my face the whole time. I am embarrassed of the way I acted.

I really needed that reality check in the car....thank you Lord for speaking to me so loud & clear!

I love it when He makes His words for me so obvious.

I haven't watched Oprah in years. I used to watch her, back when she didn't try so hard to change the world. Even my kids know we don't watch her, if I am flipping channels and she is on, they speak up, "We don't watch her!!" Sometimes she will have something on her show that I want to see, but more than ever I should not only avoid her show, I should feel REALLY good about doing it!

Please click this link to see Oprah explaining how there "couldn't possibly" be only one way to heaven. Her show is lighthearted or heartwarming a lot of the time, to suck people in, to get people (mostly women) to trust her, and then she speaks her mind like this and I am afraid a lot of people are like "Yeah! There can't be only one way! Oprah's right." No she isn't right, she is trying to make herself feel better in some way and be politically correct. Living a good life will not get you into heaven, I don't care how many houses you build for hurricane victims or how many makeovers you give people.

Woman in audience "There is only one way, and that is through Jesus"
OPRAH emphatically "There couldn't possibly be, there couldn't possible be only one way!!"



http://www.watchman.org/oprah.htm

I can't say I am shocked...I guess sickened is the word...knowing that millions of people watch her and probably heard the all-knowing Oprah (sarcasm of course) telling them that there cannot possibly be only one way to get to heaven. She told millions of people something 100% contrary to the Word of God. Maybe she should read John 14:6.



6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

:)

OK, so maybe I have been a little worked up the past few days....but like the title of my blog implies....my posts reveal whatever is on "MY HEART" at that moment. One day something intense, next day maybe something funny.

My kids had spring break this week-end...that's all they get, a 4 day week-end. They do get another one in April though. We got up on Saturday morning and took them to breakfast at McDonald's and let them play in the playcenter, it was Lee's idea. They thought that was so cool, even Katie still likes to run around and play in it even though she is now officially taller than me. She is at that age when half the time she wants to be silly and play dressup and the other half of the time she is just indifferent and sulking about nothing in particular. I remember those days.

We rarely go out to eat, we just mainly use the drive thrus. Lee and I sometimes act like germ-o-phobes at restaurants, but just think about it for a minute.....

Think about all the people who sit in those chairs and eat at that table at McDonalds. Where have they been, what have they been doing? When did they last wash their hands? You sit down and touch all thse edges where other people have touched and then you touch your food. You can't possibly avoid touching the table or chair.

What about the carts at Wal-mart....yuk! Think about all the germs. I think they should make disposeable cart handle covers like they make flushable toilet seat covers. And I can't stand to have to take one of the kids into the bathroom in public ....they touch things! At least Drew can point and pee but he still touches things!

Sometimes when we buy clothes the kids will want to wear them right away....then I have to explain how gross that is. What if a kid wiped his nose on it, or spit on it, or worse!!

Oh well....I'm really not a germ-o-phobe but if I thought about it long enough, I probably could become one.

Army Wife Prayer

Prayer of the Army Spouse

Dear God, I am proud to be wed to one who defends
freedom and peace

My challenges are many and I pray for your love
and guidance to meet them.

Special to me are the symbols representing my religion,
country, community, and home. I pray for the wisdom and grace to be true to
their meaning.

You are the symbol of my religious beliefs, and the
source of my strength. Because my life is full of change, I cherish the solid
and constant spiritual foundation that you provide. Help me, Lord, to be an
example of your teachings.

My national flag represents freedom. Let
me never forget, or take for granted, the hope it shows to the world. Bless
those who have made sacrifices for freedom.

As I enter the gateway to a military
community, guide me to reach out to others and keep it a wholesome place.

May my charity be given without thought to
personal rewards.

My wedding ring represents eternity and
never-ending love. Let me celebrate all of the joys of our togetherness and find
comfort in them during times of separation.

I pray, also, we are spared the ultimate
sacrifice of duty to country.

My house is a symbol of our family and its
unity. It is the place where we share memories of the past and build dreams of
the future. Make willing my heart and hands to do even the smallest tasks that
will make our house a better home.

Thank you, God, for daily being with us as
we live in the Army.

Please grant us your continued blessings,
increased strength, and infinite guidance, as we live to your honor and glory.

Author Unknown

Maybe the author is unknown, but it was
definitely an army wife. It is such a lovely prayer.... in times of deployment, I would say all of
that and add a few lines of my own.

Please let there be more fish sticks in my
freezer.

Thank you God for every function at church
that offers free childcare.

Thank you God that the kids think I'm
awesome when we eat cereal for dinner.

Please God, grant me 5 minutes alone in
the bathroom every day. I would like to "go in peace".

heehee

Casey Sheehan.......who?

Spc. Casey Sheehan, 24, was killed in Baghdad on April 4, 2004, five days after he arrived in Iraq. He had a gentle but firm commitment to family, church and country, re-enlisting after the war started and volunteering for the rescue mission in which he and six others were killed last year. Now you may be like me, you might not know who that is except for his "famous" last name....Sheehan....as in son of Cindy Sheehan. Funny, with all media coverage she gets, I never knew her son's rank or first name and I could not have picked his photo out of a line-up, oh but I know her name and face.


http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/08/12/peacemom.soldier.ap/

You can click the link above and read a little more about Casey for yourself but I would like to cut and paste this article by Cindy Sheehan, PLEASE read it...she was on Nightline in Jan, but after another show interviewing military families aired, she felt the need to write this:


"I was on the Night Line Townhall Meeting in Washington, DC on 01/27/05. After I spoke (which I think was a fluke), Ted Koppel dismissed me as being "emotional." First of all, how can I approach this discussion without emotions, MY SON WAS KILLED, AND KILLED FOR LIES? Second of all, that show was not fair and balanced and I think the conclusion "Should we stay" was foregone.


The show last night was also not fair and balanced. To see all the wives being interviewed who had not lost their husbands and to hear what "hard work" it is to be left behind when their husbands are at war.

How hard do you think it is to have a child killed in an illegal and immoral war? In this "wonderful" group of families left behind, we had exactly ONE of the wives call us..she is Diane Rose who was my son's Colonel, Frank Rose's wife. The last time we heard from Diane was in October and we feel we have been left behind by anyone connected to the 2-5 Cavalry. Is support only given if your loved one stays alive? One wife was quoted as saying that Sundays were the hardest for the families left behind. My son was killed on Palm Sunday last year..how does anybody think Sundays are for my family?


Am I emotional? Yes, my first born was murdered. Am I angry? Yes, he was killed for lies and for a PNAC Neo-Con agenda to benefit Israel. My son joined the Army to protect America, not Israel. Am I stupid? No, I know full-well that my son, my family, this nation, and this world were betrayed by a George Bush who was influenced by the neo-con PNAC agenda after 9/11. We were told that we were attacked on 9/11 because the terrorists hate our freedoms and democracy...not for the real reason, becuase the Arab-Muslims who attacked us hate our middle-eastern foreign policy. That hasn't changed since America invaded and occupied Iraq...in fact it has gotten worse.

It would be so amazing if your show would put me, or another parent who lost their child on who disagrees with the war and this administration: to have just an entire show..without presenting the false side of the debate. That would take a lot of courage and integrity. I hope your program will exhibit these qualities.

I also think that Mr. Koppel owes me an apology for the rude way I was treated on his show. After I expressed myself about the war being based on lies and that the troops should be brought home immediately because the war was based on lies, I was not thanked for my comments, or my son's sacrifice. He just said to keep the discussion away from emotions. Then, the wife of a soldier who was killed was allowed to speak and she praised the policies of this deplorable and despicable administration, and she was thanked and praised by the panel."



I not only think that Sheehan is insane, I think she betrays her son by making his service and sacrifice meaningless....it is sad. When Lee was in Iraq he told me his wishes for what I should say if he didn't come home, and there were days when he thought he wouldn't. He would never have wanted me to act the way she is. That would have made his death (and life) seem for nothing. I cannot begin to understand her grief but to make everyone else's worries and hardships seem insignificant is selfish and wrong.

I saw her on TV the other night stating that she is a pacifist and against all wars......then how did your son raised in your home get the "crazy" idea to join the military? Did someone drag him out of his bed to go to Iraq????? NO, You have to VOLUNTEER for the military, and while each joins for his own reasons, it is his/her own choice!!!

She goes on and on in different interviews about the lack of concern and support for her after her son's death.....well, change it. Cindy Sheehan, let that be your mission in life instead of constantly making your son's life meaningless by your rants against George Bush. Support other families who lose or have lost loved ones. How many families did you call to offer condolences to before your son got killed? If I am wrong, I will apologize, but I bet the answer is none.

As the wife of a soldier who was in Iraq for almost 15 months, I am highly offended by the use of quotation marks around "hard work" and "wonderful" when referring to some military families on the show.....Who does she think she is??? Is she questioning the hard work & struggles when your husband is gone off to war and then also hinting that these families aren't "wonderful"? Why, because they happened to get lucky and got their loved ones home safe and sound?



I feel sorry for Casey... none of us love war but if his own mother speaks so freely and strongly against military action to the media and anyone else who will listen, I can't imagine what she must have written or said to her son in his last days about his role in this one.

I would like to post today in honor of SPC Casey Sheehan and all others who have given their lives.....thank you for your selfless service and your sacrifice.

"He stands in the unbroken line of patriots who have dared to die
That freedom may live, and grow, and increase it's blessings.

Freedom lives, and through it, he lives--
In a way that humbles the undertakings of most men."

Franklin D. Roosevelt







http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1460787/posts

~10 months & Counting~

This photo isn't very clear because it is a scan of a
Poloroid Lee brought home of Iraq. He got to reenlist
here, in front of this Iraqi landmark. Cool.



Lee has 10 months left in the Army. I am so excited to find out what the future holds. So in 10 months, Lee has no job, so why am I not scared? We prayed about the decision to come here and we have prayed about his decision to now get out of the Army. So I am at peace.

I trust God will provide a job, money, food, clothes, whatever we need. I am not just hoping.....I know it. I also trust Lee. I trust him with our family's future. I trust that he is listening for God's guidance. He is very unselfish when it comes to taking care of this family. He would do whatever he had to to not only give us the things we need, but some things we want as well. He has provided such a good life for us. I certainly don't mean that we have everything anyone could want, but we have everything we need.

I am already praying about the big changes ahead. When you think of it, you could pray too! We have a dollar amount for the salary of the job Lee will need and that is what we are praying for. Sometimes I struggle with being so specific with my prayers, but I have gotten more at ease with praying for exactly what we need or want.

God will give us what He sees fit, but we need to let Him know what we want!

I know God will guide us, I am praying that we will HEAR his voice clearly and obey.

~Hands of Prayer~~

This was shared by KC Wright, a personality on my local radio station and I think it is so neat...


1. Your thumb is nearest to you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C.S. Lewis once said, a "sweet duty."

2. The next finger is the pointing finger, Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.

3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God's guidnace. Also include our servicemen and women here and abroad who always stand tall in the duty of defending and protecting our nation. They need God's strength and comfort.

4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.

5. And lastly comes our little finger; the smallest finger of all. Which is where we should place ourselves in relation to GOD and others. As the Bible says, "The least shall be the greatest among you." Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.


http://www.spiritfm.org/home.php

"Baby Drew"

This is my "Baby Drew". Sometimes I look at him and I can't believe how big he is....how quickly life flies by.

We were sitting on the porch yesterday chatting when I took this picture. I was CHATTING with Andrew! He is my last baby and I must admit that sometimes I do baby him a little too much but I can't help it. Just look at him. He has the bluest eyes and the most beautiful little gap in his front teeth (a family trait).

He is now signed up to play baseball, he can't wait. He loves all kinds of sports and has since the day he was born (as a baby he would sit forever and watch sports with Lee). As a matter of fact, his first word was BALL and that's all he said for a long time.

Today I just want to thank God for all the blessings in my life. I guess there are no small blessings but there are some blessings that impact our lives and some that could get overlooked. We were blessed that Lee returned safely from Iraq and I was blessed with those 5 minutes on the porch with Drew.

I am going to try harder in my everyday life to see my "little" blessings.

Where is James Spann when I need him?

(this hail is from last year--thankfully it was before we bought our house so we still had the carport at our post housing--I have never seen hail like this!)

We had some really bad weather last night....and the stations here just don't cover the weather like in Alabama. I think Alabama stations learned valuable lessons in 1998. I remember that year in Alabama vividly, I was scared to death, watching the weather in my parent's basement. I recall James Spann pointing to the screen "where the red meets the green" (it makes brown) and saying, "Oh No, oh No"...that will scare you. James Spann knew it was something very bad. He proceeded to plead with people to seek shelter....he was panicked and it panicked me. It was an F5 tornado.

In the days that followed, Spann (and others) would report on the damage and be brought to tears. I really gained a lot of respect for him. 33 people died that Easter week-end and I think it changed the way Alabama weather is reported. http://edition.cnn.com/WEATHER/9804/13/tornado.folo/ Here in rural Missouri, you get the warnings on the screen and the occasional radar update.

Last night was one of those nights when the air felt strange, it was 84 degrees yesterday and we were under a tornado watch all day. Then the storms started our way about 7PM. I guess being in Germany for 3 years with really no fear of tornadoes spoiled me. I forgot how scary storms are, I have always been terrified of them but haven't had to deal with them for a long time.

The kids made a "tent" in the hallway with their mattresses and they thought it was great fun. Even the cat joined in and got her place in the tent. They played Gameboy and drew in notebooks. When I heard that we had a tornado warning though, I talked to them about staying in the tent and that the power might go off. And then we prayed.

I prayed that God would protect us, put a hedge of safety around us and our community. The kids all sat in silence, holding hands, while I prayed for about 5 minutes and then they said Amen. The radar kept showing a really bad storm in our area, but we never really heard or felt it. We got some strong winds and rain but nothing like we were supposed to be getting.

God did protect us last night, there were tornadoes all over Missouri and lots of hail and wind damage in our area.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060312/ap_on_re_us/severe_weather



Praise the Lord.

My Thought for the Day

"Even flowers have to grow through dirt."

That quote is in the Dr Laura book I am reading right now, "Bad Childhood, Good Life" from a fan of hers.

I spoke with my mom 2 days ago and wow.... all I will say is that I hope I can grow, because I am surely in the dirt....as far as family relations are concerned anyway.

~Congrats Lee!!!

I told you hubby is the writer in the family.....he just completed a college journalism course and submitted one of his assignments to a local paper and they printed it! The editor also asked him to submit other stories, so he is working on a few.

Please check it out:

http://www.flw-guidon.com/commentary/Technology0309.dwt

Let me just add that the typos and misspelled words are not Lee's work, also one whole paragraph was cut out.

~Get a Grip~

ok---I will admit it, I watch American Idol every chance I get, we sit and watch it together as a family, except for Drew who is too much of a boy to stop and watch some people singing....haha, he'd rather play in his room.

So is anyone else irritated by Kellie Pickler and Paris? They both need to get a grip and stop being so phony... Paris sings Wind Beneath my Wings last week with this big booming voice and then says "thanks" like a 4 year old! Yes she can sing but I personally don't like her singing voice at all and I sure don't like her fake voice that she talks with. And Kellie Pickler? Ok, she is cute but she should not be on that show at this point....can you just imagine her singing and then Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood singing?? Carrie gave me chills and almost made me cry last week as she sang just because it was so lovely and her face showed so much emotion as she sang "Jesus Take the Wheel" and hit EVERY SINGLE NOTE. And the whole slow speaking hick thing is getting annoying. Cowl-uh-marrrr-ay....come on, who says that? Yes, I am from Alabama and although I haven't lived there in 6 years, I am still very southern but GET A GRIP!! Have some pride in yourself girl!

But then again, it looks like that dumb blonde act is getting her a lot farther than some really good singers got...so maybe she's just being what American Idol wants her to be.

Those girls better be glad they aren't competing against the guys yet, because if they were, it would be probably 9 guys and 3 girls in the final 12, and I am being generous!

So GO CHRIS! I also like Mandisa, Katherine, and Elliot....and I LOVE that Brenna is G-O-N-E! She reminded me way too much of that Michayla girl from last year!

~Be a voice not an Echo........BARLOWGIRL~

Katie and I had the best time last night! We went to a concert on our army post featuring Rebecca St James with Barlow Girl and Jadon Lavik.

First was Jadon Lavik, I wasn't sure who he was until he sang, I knew 3 of his 4 songs. They are played on the radio a lot actually.




Next was Barlow Girl. They completely blew me away. They are sisters and it is just the 3 of them in their band. They all sing and play instruments.....they have some really great songs...."Mirror" is one and it deals with eating disorders and body image. Their message is "Purity" and they weren't shy about saying that sex is for marriage. They also say "Don't Conform, Be Transformed" (Romans 12:2). I really enjoyed their testimonies and I am so glad that Katie got to hear what they had to say..... they are saving themselves for their husbands and they are cool! Imagine that! http://www.barlowgirl.com/

Next came Rebecca St James and she was incredible. I really enjoyed her songs and her message. She encouraged people to sponsor a child with Compassion International, even giving you a free CD if you did. She also spoke a long time about sex and waiting.....she said she is a virgin and "wants to give the special gift of myself to my future husband"....what a precious gift. She also let the crowd know (about half the crowd was made up of basic training soldiers they brought in) that she and her friends from Barlow Girl would want a man who had saved himself as well. A man of restraint and honor, and that even if you have made mistakes, you can start saving yourself from now on. She also put on a tremendous show....and be on the lookout for a CD by her brothers Luke and Joel....they sing backup for her and they sang one song from their about to be released CD.....they were AWESOME!!! The above picture isn't a very good picture of Rebecca St James, she is strinkingly beautiful in person....but this was after a 2 hour concert by her and she was so gracious to let us take her photo.

At the end of the night, we got to meet them all and got autographs....Katie loved that. I loved all the music but most of all I enjoyed the alone time with my first baby. I got a small glimpse of her being Katie ....... and not just my daughter or the big sister. At one point, Barlow Girl was playing a super loud song with strobe lights going crazy and people jumping all around us and Katie leaned over and asked me, "Are you okay?" Her voice was so mature and she was honestly concerned, it was like I was the child in that instant. It was funny and very sweet.

But it also made me feel about 105 years old...

Looney Clooney & the Brokeback Brigade

Hi all! This post is from Lee~~~one more and he has to get his own BLOG!!!!!


So how about those Oscars last night? I usually take a pass on all the award shows, but with all the hoopla over the homosexuals and their movies I had to see how this would all be presented. I mean, the five films up for best picture dealt with:

1) Homosexual cowboys. (BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN)
2) Homosexual author. (CAPOTE)
3) Racism. (CRASH)
4) McCarthyism. (is that a timely topic or what) (GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK)
5) How the Jews are to blame for Muslims murdering innocent Jews. (MUNICH)

Hey, who says you can’t escape for two hours and have a good time at the movies? Despite all that, I feel Christians need to be aware of what’s going on out there. That is why I watched.

The show opened with an skit featuring fair-and-balanced host Jon Stewart, who dreams he wakes up next to a smirking, satisfied-looking George Clooney. Except he’s not dreaming. And yes, the skit wants you to believe they just finished up a “brokeback” session of their own. It made me laugh only because a week ago I told Amy I thought Clooney, a heartthrob of women everywhere, was in fact gay. For such an outspoken fellow, I’m not sure why he won’t just come out of the closet now. Or as Amy said, maybe it’s the biggest inside joke in Hollywood. Now that I think about it, I guess that makes “Syriana” about a homosexual too! No wonder it got so much press.

Later on Clooney (surprise!) wins an Oscar. In his acceptance speech he embraced the idea that he and all of Hollywood were “out of touch” with the rest of America. After all, as Clooney stated with such moral authority, actors were the first ones to talk about AIDS. Oh how America was discriminating, stigmatizing, not doing enough for people with AIDS. But in his smugness, Georgie forgot one thing: gay actors were doing more to spread the disease back then than any other group. Except for regular, garden-variety homosexuals, that is.

“It’s not a gay disease!” Well, it was in the beginning. And 20 years later, after we’d been promised that by now it would be primarily a heterosexual affliction, guess who makes up the largest percentage of AIDS “victims”? That’s right, homosexual men!! Hey, somebody cue up “We Are The Champions!”

Maybe there’s a reason this little nugget found its way into the Bible:

“…..men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men
committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion…
Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only
continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.” Romans 1: 27, 32 (NIV)

There is always a penalty for violating the “laws of nature and of nature’s God.” Remember that phrase? It’s written in our Declaration of Independence. If I get stupid and decide to test gravity by jumping off a 10-story building, I get the smack down from natural law. Do homosexuals think they’re special?

No, it’s worse than that. They merely believe they are gods unto themselves. Hence the Word of God is not the answer, but Christians and their intolerance of Supreme Man are the problem. My feeling is great, go ahead, knock yourself out. Think you’re a god and get jiggy with your brokeback self all day long. But keep the noise pollution to yourselves. While we’re at it, get all raunchy sex scenes off the screen, hetero or homo. You can’t name one that enhanced the art without appealing to the vulgar.

But the most offensive thing last night was the ridiculous way the (alleged) homosexual Clooney tried to tie the issue of gay rights to civil rights, by mentioning Hattie McDaniel, in 1939 the first black to win an Oscar. I love it when liberals wrap themselves up in the civil rights flag. As if liberalism and Hollywood’s promotion of its depraved beliefs hasn’t done enough to destroy the black community. Welfare and food stamps and free public housing for all!!

Where has that Democratic utopian idea led African-Americans? In 1965 most black children had a mother and a father at home. Now over 70% of blacks are born out of wedlock. Crime rates, drug abuse, we all know the real deal. But hey black America, watch more gay films!! If you change sides now, eventually there won’t be those pesky children to worry about!!

It doesn’t stop there. Isn’t it funny that white liberals are the biggest promoters of free, unbridled abortions for black women? Did somebody say “organized genocide?” I would worry more about this, but as a Republican I’ll just wait until African-Americans wake up and realize that Democrats want them either holed up in a “free” ghetto or aborted, whichever happens first. And I’ll pray they stop voting 95% for the butchers of their babies.

Christians must decide what is more important: reveling in the feel-good humanist idea of tolerance, or following the crystal clear Word of God. We may not be homosexual, but are we in any way “approving” of their indecent acts? Maybe next time “Will & Grace” comes on we should turn off the TV and curl up with the book of Romans instead.

Pat Buchanan once said that homosexuality has gone, in our lifetime, from the “love that dare not speak its name” to one that refuses to shut up. Please, just shut up. Stop trying to pass off gay porn as a plea for tolerance. “Love the sinner, hate the sin,” you say. Fair enough. But I can’t promise how much sympathy I will have in a few years when the gay cowboy, AIDS ravaging his body, stares at his daily drug cocktail and mournfully says, “I wish I could quit you.”


© 2006 by Lee Richardson

~Happy Anniversary to Me!~

Lee and I celebrated 7 years married on Feb 27. He got me new bedroom furniture!! I love it....it's funny how new bedroom furniture is an incentive to make your bed everyday. Maybe that's why he bought it for me. I had the old furniture for 10 years. It has travelled the world, and now it has been passed down to Katie, who loves it. Along with the furniture, I got new bedding--a quilt! I love a good quilt.

God totally worked out the details at the furniture store....He is so good to us. Lee is a great negotiator but it was totally God.

Lee and I have been together for almost 11 years and really only once did we speak of breaking up....it was in our first year of dating. I have known since our first date that Lee was very special & unique~~and deep in my heart I knew he was it for me. I love my husband and he is the man of our house....I just wanted to share that!!!

Happy Anniversary, Babe

~Penguins on Parade~

Hannah Grace was in a production called "Penguins on Parade"....she is the one in the denim skirt and black boots. She thinks she is something special in those boots....I guess because they make a loud clip-clop noise on the floor. It makes her feel important. What she doesn't realize is that she is special all the time....whether she has on those boots or flip-flops. It's funny because sometimes I don't realize it about myself either. I sometimes get more concerned with how I look going to church than with preparing myself to hear The Word. Every Saturday night and Sunday morning I fight Satan as he is telling me, "You're fat, you're ugly, your clothes are ugly, they're going to laugh at you at church, you wore that skirt 2 weeks ago.........." The list goes on and on.

It's funny that penguins are all dressed the same, so they don't have to worry about how they look....but if they thought like we do, they would compare their chest feathers and some would have low self esteem because their tail is bigger than the others, still others would dye their beaks to just the right shade of orange....see how crazy that sounds? Not that anything is wrong with a little dye but you get my point....hahaha

God made each one of us special and beautiful! How could anything made in HIS image be less than beautiful?

The best compliment I have received in a long long time was one I got last Thursday after Drew and I ate lunch with hubby. We went to a Mexican place with Lee and his co-workers and boy it was yummy, but back to the compliment.....later that night I was on the computer and I caught Lee looking at me and he said, "I meant to tell you earlier, but you looked really pretty today, I was looking at you at lunch.....". He said it slowly and he looked right into my eyes when he said it. I replied with a phrase that is sometimes hard for me to say when receiving a compliment, I simply said, "Thank you". I didn't fish for more and I didn't disagree with him.

I encourage you to make a difference in someone's day.... look at them and give them a simple but honest compliment.

~Happy 37th Birthday to Hubby~

And you don't look a day over 36!! Just kidding, Lee looks young compared to me with all of my gray hair! Of course, he shaves his head so that's not really fair. I guess I need to invest in some brown hair dye.....oh well.

~Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.....at least not all the time.

I love these pictures of Andrew. They were taken on a vacation to Garmisch Germany at one of King Ludwig's castles. It was a wonderful day but it was quite hot for Germany so the kids got tired in the middle of the tour. Well, Drew plopped himself down right in the middle of King Ludwig's fancy flower garden (I won't tell you that he also pee'd in King Ludwig's fancy flower garden a little later). I immediately felt a wave of embarrassment come over me and then anger. At that moment, our friends who were with us started laughing and telling me to take his picture. It was funny! Why was I getting mad? It's just grass & flowers!! Drew just thought the grass would be cool and refreshing, and I am sure it was!

Looking back I am so thankful that I laughed about it and took my child's picture. I am also so thankful that I am a child of God. The second I take a mistep, God doesn't pounce on me & punish me, but that is exactly what I was about to do to my innocent son that day. Of course there is a time for punishment, but come on Amy, what were you thinking? It was grass!! And the guy who owns the grass has been dead for hundreds of years!!! hahaha

Growing up, I did not have examples of good parents around me. But as an adult, I learn from my peers and quite frankly from reading alot of books. I still long to have a "mommy and daddy" but by dwelling on what I did not have growing up (and still don't have), I am denying my children all that I could give to them. My childhood is over, I make my own life now. I am the mom and I am going to try harder than ever to BE the mom I always longed for.

Father God, You know my heart and You know how I long for a mother/daughter relationship. I pray today Lord that You would open my heart to relationships with other women that I might find the Godly example I need and that You want me to have in my life. I pray that I will be the kind of parent to my precious children that You are to me.

This is the view from the top of a mountain in the Bavarian Alps. The black line intruding on the view would be THE CABLE.....the cable that held the car....the car that held my husband, myself and my 2 babies. There were no warning signs anywhere but I made my own rules. I shook my finger at my husband..."DO NOT rock the car, DO NOT shake the car, DO NOT jump in the car, DO NOT act like you are going to jump out of the window of the car!" Come on, you know how men are, those things had to be said. I wanted to have fun, but let's not get crazy. We made it to the top of the mountain and it was the most gorgeous view I have ever seen! It was truly breathtaking. Looking out over the town below, I couldn't help but get emotional at the beauty around me and the grandness of the mountains. How could anyone in their right mind believe that this was all created accidentally?

Just look at those clouds against that blue sky as the peak of the mt comes through....really look at that for 3 seconds...Oh the beauty of "mother nature"........NO!!!!

It's the beauty of Father God.